Hello everyone!
This week we have been traveling and most of my time has been spent working on a new project. I have not had an opportunity to put together a new post this week so I thought I would share part of the book I am writing with a working title of "The Ultimate Caregiver's Guide to Aging in Place". I am currently working through the first rough draft so let me know you thoughts!
I plan to break up the first chapter so that the posts are more readable . I hope you enjoy!
Your phone rings, it is a number you don’t recognize so you ignore it and go back to making dinner for the family. Tonight is spaghetti night and everyone loves spaghetti. The phone rings again, it is the same number, that’s odd, so you pick it up. “Hello?”
“Hello, this is Joe with Jackson County Emergency Services, we responded to a 911 call at Jack’s diner and … well we have your mom and are on the way to the hospital. Apparently, your mother tripped coming down the curb, fell and hit her head. She’s currently unconscious. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news”
You mumble some sort of response and just freeze as understanding sinks in. Panic sets in, unsure of what to do next. The seconds feel like an eternity… “Mom, … Mom! What’s wrong? Who was that on the phone?” Your child brings you back to reality and you realize dinner will have to wait. Quickly explain what happened to the kids and call the neighbor to see if they can come hangout for a while until their father gets home. Once the kids are safe you rush to the hospital to find your mom on a stretcher being wheeled down the hall for scans as she is still unconscious.
You start praying, please “God, don’t let it end like this…”
It seems like hours pass, someone comes and finds you and you are taken down the hall to what will be your mothers room. She is not there, but you are told she will be admitted while determining the next course of action. The nurse on this unit comes by and introduces herself. She is pleasant and understands your concern, but has no news, other than her vitals are stable.
She was so healthy, what happened? She loves meeting her friends at the diner on Tuesday’s for their “Laughing Ladies DInners”. She usually drives and picks up her friends who are no longer able to drive.
The waiting starts again. Praying too. Then your mind turns to everything left undone, the half cooked meal, did he pick up the kids? I better call and check on them. Will I be able to make it to work tomorrow? I need to let my boss know about the situation. Where did I park? Am I going to spend the night here? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes…
It seems like the concerns are endless. What time is it? You glance at the clock and notice it is 1:15 AM. The on call neurologist makes it up to the room. He lets you know that your mom had an aneurysm. A brain bleed. There appears to be some damage to the right side of your mother’s brain. It is unsure how much as this time as the swelling is making the imaging difficult to read. She is going to be kept unconscious by inducing a coma if needed for a few days. The ruptured blood vessel likely caused the fall and not the other way around. No broken bones, but significant bruising.
What does that mean? Thank God she didn’t break a hip, but will her brain be OK? What will she be like when she wakes up, if she wakes up? No don’t think about that now. Exhausted you fall asleep sitting up in the chair in the hospital room.
Does this story sound familiar? Unfortunately this scenario or a similar one happen every day. It could be your dad and not your mom. It could be a broken hip and not a brain bleed. You may be retired from work, but taking care of your grand children.
We, as children have a tendency to assume everything is ok and normal with our parents and their health until we get slapped in the face with a crisis. The point is that millions of people every year find themselves unexpectedly thrust into this situation due to an accident or health problem of their previously independent parents.
It is a situation that is very challenging for hundreds of reasons, but mostly because of the unknown. What happens next? How does the healthcare system work? Who’s going to pay for this? These are good questions without easy answers. Often we have to learn the process of navigating the healthcare system and becoming caregivers by experience. Hopefully you can learn some of the difficult aspects from someone else’s experience. Someone who has been through this process on both sides. As family/caregiver and as physical therapist caring for those in need of rehab.
Chapter 1 To be continued...
That's all for today.
Take care, keep mom safe at home and have a great day!
Winn
I am a Doctor of Physical Therapy and have been working with the 70+ age group for over a decade. I will share my knowledge and experience to give you ideas to care for your aging parents. Read more >>